House Rules Poem

If you sleep on it...make it up.
If you wear it...hang it up.
If you drop it...pick it up.
If you eat out of it...wash it up.
If you step on it...wipe it up.
If you open it...close it.
If you empty it...fill it up.
If you fill it up...empty it.
If you spill it...wipe it up.
If you turn it on...turn it off.
If you make it dirty...wash it.
If you have garbage...trash it.
If it whines...feed it.
If it cries...love it.

From Generation X to Generation Me
Rhiana Maidenberg
Writer, wife, and mother of toddlers.

I am a proud, social security card carrying member of Generation X. In high school, I dressed in the latest grunge fashion (plucked fresh from the bins at Goodwill), and drove my beat-up Honda Civic in the rain while listening to REM, Pearl Jam, and Nirvana. My fellow Gen X'ers and I remember fondly the fall of the Berlin Wall, Nancy Reagan's "Just Say No" campaign, and the debut of Michael Jackson's Thriller music video.

We were an independent generation, adaptable to change. Many of us came from divorced families, and found it normal to split our time between two homes. We lived in households where both parents worked and were often labeled as "latch-key" kids. Watching our parents work tireless hours at jobs they didn't like, we embraced technology and education, vowing to do what we loved, on our own terms, with a reasonable work/life balance.
And then we began to procreate.

In contrast to our upbringing, we resolved to be a more constant presence in our children's lives. Many of us, now as mothers, are now staying home, sacrificing career and economic prosperity to be the one to do the drop-offs and pick-ups. We read every new parenting book, determined to raise our children with all possible opportunities and advantages. By the time the children are two, they are enrolled in ballet, soccer, gymnastics, music and art class. Our kids are constantly praised for their efforts and are repeatedly told how smart, talented, beautiful and special they are.
And this is how we raised the "Me" generation.

The problem is that these children are now dependent on their parents. They have become accustomed to their moms and dads holding their hands through each major decision, and many of these young adults now call home multiple times a day for guidance. College professors are fielding phone calls from parents wanting to discuss their child's grade on a paper. Managers complain that this generation is so unfamiliar with criticism that they are nearly impossible to train. This generation truly believes that they are exceptionally smart, talented, and beautiful, and therefore unprepared for the real world.

So, what do we do? As a mother of toddlers, how do I combat this trend and raise independent children, while still being an active participant in their childhood?

Lori Gottlieb, author of How to Land Your Kid in Therapy, offers many suggestions to find this balance. Here are a few I intend to follow:
Allow the child to fight her own battles. Imagine a common preschool scene. You witness another child grabbing a toy from your little one. As much as this may trouble your mama bear instincts, resist the urge to interfere. Give your child the opportunity to problem solve for herself. If she can't manage to get the toy back, let her feel the frustration.

Don't be the parent that demands her child be invited to all birthday parties. Life is unfair, and not every kid is going to like your child. Help the child cope with the disappointment of being excluded instead of saving her from all possible unhappiness.

Let them experience failure. Sometimes you try to climb a new play structure and fall. Sometimes you study really hard for a test and still get a C. Sometimes you strive to be everyone's friend and nonetheless, these is still that one girl who continues to spread rumors. This is life, and it should also be childhood.

Recently my oldest, Elana, tested me on just this. She advanced in her swim lessons to the next level and was finding herself in a difficult position -- she shifted from the best in her class to the worst. After the first session in the new class she sweetly pleaded with me, though teary eyes, to be moved back to her old group. "It's too deep. I'm scared. I don't like the teacher." While part of me hated seeing her sad, I knew that this was an important lesson for her. "Whenever we try something new, we often suck," I explained, "but, without sinking, we never learn to swim."

Follow Rhiana Maidenberg on Twitter: www.twitter.com/marriedwtoddler

Easy-To-Pronounce Names More Likely To Succeed, Study Says
By Claire Gordon

Many parents are giving their new babies unusually spelled first names, reports The New York Times, so that they can pop up on the first page of a web search, and avoid sharing it with a serial killer who happens to have the same one. But new research shows that if parents really want the best for their kid, they're better off choosing a simple name that rolls off the tongue, even if it means sharing it with a famous fetish-porn star.

Researchers Simon Laham of the University of Melbourne, Adam Alter of New York University Stern School of Business, and Peter Koval of the University of Leuven, Belgium, found that people with easy-to-pronounce names were evaluated more positively. Not only did the dozens of participants in their studies like names better when they were easy to pronounce, but of 500 U.S. lawyers, the ones with the easiest-to-pronounce names had advanced faster and held more senior positions.

Past research has found that your name has all kinds of effects on your life: applicants with African American-sounding names are less likely to be called back for a job interview; children with popular names are less likely to get into trouble with the law; girls with more feminine names are less likely to pursue math and science; and boys with names that are also common among girls are more likely to be suspended.

But the discovery of "the name pronunciation effect" is entirely new. The study, which included names from Anglo, Asian, Western and Eastern European backgrounds, was conducted in both lab settings and natural environments, and was published online in December in the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology.

The researchers were careful to distinguish pronunceability from "unusualness" -- a quality that is well-known to spark bias. Barack Obama, Alter points out, is certainly an unusual name, but it doesn't trip the tongue. They also controlled for the nationality or ethnic connotation of a name, as it's been well-established that this can also provoke subtle, or not-so-subtle, negative feelings.

In the lawyer study, the researchers thought that the relatively recent entry of minorities into the field might skew the results. Of course the Smiths and Johnsons ranked higher than the Pfefferbergs and Borgognones. They'd been there for a lot longer. But even when they looked at the Anglo names alone, seniority correlated strongly with how easy the person's name was to say.

"Independently of all those other features of the name, the mere ease of pronunciation is enough to drive outcomes," Alter told AOL Jobs. "There's sort of a warm glow associated with things that are easy to process."
We feel good when our minds process something easily and fluently, according to the study, and when it comes to a name, we attribute that good feeling to the name-bearer.

Alter thinks this may be evolutionary; most things that required a lot of effort for our ancestors to process were probably dangerous, or at least cause for concern.

Politicians are also given a boost by an easily-readable name. 35 undergraduates took part in a mock ballot study of 12 names, knowing nothing about the candidates. Those with the simpler-to-say names were more likely to win the race.

To make the situation more realistic, the researchers had 74 college students then read a newspaper article about the background of a candidate running for a local council election, including his family and career history, and one of his policies. In some of the articles the man's name was Greek and difficult or easy to say, in others it was Polish and difficult or easy to say. Afterwards they rated the man's eligibility for office. When the same candidate had an easier-to-say name (Lazaridis over Vougiouklakis), he rated much higher.

By this logic, Mitt Romney's name gives him a serious boot in the Republican primary, while Rick Santorum's name, for other reasons, is a serious liability.

What’s Wrong With Our Schools Today

I wrote this article after attending a pre-school meeting for my youngest son and the teachers listed what they could and could not do because of the law. Law suits have taken over our schools and it has to stop. People can sue for anything today and they usually do. That’s why on the side of a cup of coffee you see the warning label, “Caution, contents may be hot”, or on the side of fishing lure package: “Caution, contents may be harmful if swallowed.” Schools are literally drowning in a pool of law. In high schools today 43% of the teachers spend half of their time making order in the classroom. That means those students are getting half the learning they’re supposed to be getting. If one child is disrupting the class, no one can learn. And when the teacher tries to control the one student, they’re threatened with a legal claim, not from the parent, but the student. The students are threatening the teachers with legal claims, and you wonder why our schools are producing students who have no respect for anything, even themselves. Teachers have an agenda they have to follow because the school system doesn’t trust the teachers to teach the way they see fit. Creativity is a thing of the past. 78% of the teachers in middle and high schools have been threatened by their students with a legal claim. This is an indication of the corrosion of authority. At a school in Florida they banned running at recess because one student fell, hurt himself and the parents sued the school. All the children at this school are going to be ADD. If someone falls off a seesaw, it doesn’t matter if the parents sue or not, all the seesaws will be removed because the school doesn’t want to go through with the legal hassle. When I was in school, if I fell off the seesaw, I’d get up brush, myself off and continue playing. It’s not that way today. Parents and students both are looking for a quick way to make a quick buck. If the student gets hurt on the playground, all they see are dollar signs. They don’t care what the law suit does to the school or the other children. We need to do something about the law. The law has to be simple enough so that people can eternalize it in their daily choices. If they can’t eternalize it they won’t trust it. We have to restore authority to the judges and officials who interpret and apply law. We have to re-humanize the law. The accountability at the top of the line is judging the decision against the effect of everyone not just the disgruntled person. We cannot run a society on the lowest common denominator. If the teachers don’t have authority to run the classroom all the students suffer. What the world needs now is the authority to restore common choices. It’s the only way we can get our freedom back.

I took my boys to Cub Scout Camp a couple of weeks ago. My youngest boy, the six year old, made a kite and went running to get it in the air, and the lady standing next to me actually yelled out, "Don't run!" I looked at he like she was crazy. He's six years old. He's supposed to run. And if he falls and scratches himself, he will get up, brush himself off and run some more. What are we as adults doing to our children today? And we wonder why ADHD is so prevelant. It's the same on the school Playground. If a kid runs, the teacher yells, "Stop running." And I know why they do it, it's because of lawyers and pathetic parents. If a child runs on the playground, falls and breaks a bone, the stupid parents will sue the school. And then, there's no running for anyuone on the playground anymore. We're trying to raise a society by the lowest common denominator. It needs to stop. We need to kill all the lawyers. Just kidding. But, seriously, it's gotten too easy to sue for anything these days. Let the children run. If they fall and get scratched or cut or bruised or bumped, let them get up, brush themselves off and run some more.We don't need to sue the school because our children are being children. You can't sue the school because your child is clumsy. Accept it and get on with your life.

Police Use Pepper Spray to Subdue 8-Year-Old at School
From AOL News

A second grader's violent outburst led to the 8-year-old boy being pepper sprayed by police -- twice -- at his school.

"Today" reports Aidan Elliot threatened two teachers, throwing chairs and yelling, "If you come out, you're gonna die." The teachers locked themselves in an office and called police.

"He was violent, he was verbal, he was abusive," Peg Kastberg, superintendent of Jefferson County Schools, tells "Today."

The boy reportedly threw a TV cart and pulled wood trim from the walls, the news show reports.

"I wanted to make something sharp, for, like, if they came out -- 'cause I was so mad at them," Aiden tells "Today." "I was gonna try to whack them with it."

Aidan's mom, Mandy Elliot, tells "Today" no other students were in the classroom at the time of the incident, and calls the use of pepper spray "excessive."

"The school he was at was for children who have social and emotional behavioral issues ... They know what the kids are capable of before they took him on. They could have also called and asked for a special unit who deals with children from the police department in these crisis situations," Elliot tells "Today.
This was his third incident involving police at school, "Today" reports. No charges were filed.

"I kind of deserved it," Aidan tells "Today."

Eliott tells the news show her son's violent behavior occurs only at school, but that Aidan has not been diagnosed with any disorder. She says she would like to see police training, for officers dealing with similar situations.

"I don't think it's right for an 8-year-old to get pepper-sprayed," she tells "Today."

I’m sure she will sue the police department, the school and the local government for not making rules against this. Maybe she should be sprayed with pepper spray.

Study: Half of Teens Admit Bullying in Last Year

Half of teens admit bullying in past year. Credit: AP
Half of high school students say they've bullied someone in the past year, and nearly half say they've been the victim of bullying, according to a national study released Tuesday.

The survey by the Los Angeles-based Josephson Institute of Ethics asked more than 43,000 high school students whether they'd been physically abused, teased or taunted in a way that seriously upset them. Forty-three percent said yes, and 50 percent admitted to being the bully.

The institute's president, Michael Josephson, said the study shows more bullying goes on at later ages than previously thought, and remains extremely prevalent through high school.

"Previous to this, the evidence was bullying really peaks in middle school," Josephson told The Associated Press.

He said the Internet has intensified the effect of taunting and intimidation because of its reach and its permanence.

"It's the difference between punching someone and stabbing him. The wounds are so much deeper," Josephson said.

Josephson added the survey's results don't surprise him because his group has conducted similar studies without publishing the results. But he said he still finds the numbers "alarming."

In the survey, 10 percent of teens admitted bringing a weapon to school at least once, and 16 percent admitted being drunk at school.

Josephson said that means victims of bullying are in danger of striking back violently.

"You have a combination that is a toxic cocktail," Josephson said.

The study reported responses from 43,321 high school students from around the country, and the margin of error was less than 1 percent.

Rick Hesse, a professor of decision sciences at Pepperdine University, said the survey involved voluntary self-reporting and was therefore not a random, stratified sample of the U.S. population. But he said the large number of people surveyed and the lack of corrupting factors mean certain valid conclusions can be drawn from the results.

The study's release comes in a year of several high-profile suicides related to bullying, including that of 15-year-old Phoebe Prince of Massachusetts, who prosecutors say was relentlessly bullied by the six girls charged in her death.

On Tuesday, the U.S. Department of Education sent letters to schools, colleges and universities around the country warning them that failing to adequately address ethnic, sexual or gender-based harassment could put them in violation of federal anti-discrimination laws.

Copyright 2010 The Associated Press. The information contained in the AP news report may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or otherwise distributed without the prior written authority of The Associated Press. All active hyperlinks have been inserted by AOL. This article was written by ANDREW DALTON, Associated Press Writer.